Archive for August, 2009

What a day

First, I’m writing/posting before reading Ginger’s post. I saw it out there, but I thought it would be interesting to post my thoughts before my memories were influenced by hers.

Second, I was bummed that I couldn’t get to my orthodontist appointment today because of the timing of the transfer. Luckily I had a sympathetic receptionist when I called this morning,  and I get my braces off TOMORROW. Yea!!!

I picked G up from the train at 10:15. We had plenty of time to get to our 11:30 appointment so we stopped for breakfast. G had to have a full bladder so she kept drinking and I promised that I wouldn’t pee until she could. Although I had a lot less to drink 🙂

We checked in at the clinic and a nurse came out to confirm that we wanted a single embryo transfer. Something in the way she said it (like  “are you sure that’s what you want?) made me a little nervous. I guess I didn’t expect to have to think about it again since we had been clear about that from the beginning. It was already 11:45 and G’s eyes were watering from drinking so much but the nurse said it would be a couple more minutes.

She took us back to the room and went over some paperwork and post-transfer instructions. Interestingly, there were no lifting restrictions on the paper even though they mentioned it previously. I think they are very laid back there. Ginger got herself ready and on the table and Dr Glassner came in (we got lucky that he was on today). He said that the embryos looked “beautiful” and gave us a picture (I’ll attach it if G hasn’t already).

Then he said “with 1 embryo you have a 45% chance of pregnancy.” WHAT? 45%? That’s a failing grade. That’s not even half. That’s way lower than I ‘ve been thinking in my head. “With 2 embryos, you have a 70% chance of pregnancy and a 30% chance of twins.” Aaaggghhh. What to do???? I made a quick decision that without discussing it with Scott I had to stick with our agreed to plan – 1 embryo only. So I stuck to my (our) guns.

Then the coolest thing happened. A little pass-thru door opened in the wall. It opened to the embryo lab and the embryologist was standing on the other side with our embryos right there!!! She verified our names/birthdates and we watched her draw up THE embie into the catheter and hand it to Dr G. So cool!! The transfer was quick and we got an u/s pic of the actual embie in G’s uterus. More coolness!

Then G had to stay on the table for 30 minutes with her over-full bladder. We chatted and watched the clock and finally we both were able to go pee. She refused to use the bed pan the nurse left. Even though I offered to take a picture with it 🙂

That was really all the excitement. I drove G home and we stopped for some lunch and then I came home. So now we wait. I have to rely on the fact that the conditions today (uterus and embryos) could not have been any better. So what happens, happens. Always for a reason.

Embryos:

Ultrasound pic:

Retrieval and Fert Report

What a couple of days… Ginger was here Tuesday night and we got up early to head to the clinic. Ginger was getting nervous and I was feeling awful for her. I felt like it was all my fault and I just wanted to make it all better. Fortunately once the nurse started the IV and got everything going it all went quickly. The whole thing only took about 30 minutes and when I went into recovery Ginger was ready to go home – well, she wasn’t really but she thought she was 🙂 The nurse had told us 3 hours total and damned if we weren’t out of there in 2 hours and 55 minutes. They must do this a lot. Ha.

Ginger and I came home and somehow I was more tired than she was (I didn’t sleep well the night before). But we hung out, ate lunch and then we both took naps.

We knew when we left that we had 24 eggs and they would call Thursday morning with the fertilization report. So I stared at the phone all morning and sure enough, it rang. (That has never worked before by the way.) 14 eggs fertilized. That’s fourteen as in 10+4, more than enough, PLENTY. And they will call again tomorrow to discuss plans for Saturday or Monday transfer.

It’s a strange feeling that there are 14 embryos out there waiting for us. It’s like we have 15 kids now. Except that 14 of them are very low maintenance. Since we are only transfering 1, we have all agreed that the remaining embryos will be donated for research (or destroyed if that’s not possible). It’s kind of cool that our embryos could help cure diseases.

So now we wait for transfer day. And then we wait for beta (well, positive HPTs then beta :). And then we wait for the first u/s. More waiting. But somehow it’s really going quickly. The next 9 months will probably fly!

We have dates

Wow. I mean WOW. Egg retrieval is on Wednesday (which happens to be my grandmother’s birthday) and the 5-day transfer will be on Monday (my next door neighbor/babysitter/good friend’s anniversary). I like it when dates have meaning. Of course, Monday is the day I’m supposed to get my braces off. So the scheduling is going to be tricky. But I suppose this is the priority ;-p

I need to find out all the superstitions and traditions about transfer. I know there’s something about McDonald’s, pineapple and green. Must research on SMO. Or send me comments if you know.

I don’t know what to write.

I know I need to be writing more frequently, but really I just don’t know what to write. Ginger has been posting about the follicle checks at the clinic so I don’t need to re-hash that.  Suffice to say everything is going great so far.

I’m just overwhelmed with life and the clinic’s lack of dates just irritates me and adds to my stress. I don’t know if all clinics are like this but basically we don’t know the next time we need to show up until we are at the appointment. Not only does Ginger need to make arrangements for her daughter and transportation, I need to find a babysitter and make sure that my schedule is clear as well. I purposely didn’t schedule a lot of things for this coming week as we knew that the retrieval would be sometime in those 5 days. But I had no idea that we would spend so much time at the clinic and with so little notice.

I know I shouldn’t complain. I should be grateful that it’s all working out so well. But really I’m irritated. It’s my lack of adaptability (is that a word?). In other words, I like to make a plan – with as much notice as possible – and stick to it. I am NOT spontaneous by any stretch of the imagination. You would think with a 17 month old I would be more used to spur of the moment changes. But I’m not.

Anyway I’m just whining. Really everything is going well and hopefully we’ll be pregnant in the next couple weeks.

At least I posted something. Right?

1+1=???

Another baby. Another NEWBORN that doesn’t sleep and can’t tell me what’s wrong. Another child to be responsible for. Another child to love as much as I love Cassidy? How is that possible? These are all the thoughts that went through my head when I realized this was really happening.

I don’t know how I could love another child as much as I love Cass. I love my nieces and nephews. I love my friends’ kids. But nothing compares to how I feel about my daughter. And now I have to hope that I will feel that way about another baby.

Apparently this is a common thought process when planning for a second child. Everyone that I’ve mentioned it to nods like they understand. My friends that have already done it say that as soon as the second baby is born all doubt is gone. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

A sad note

A surrogate on SMO developed severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome which made it detrimental for her to complete her pregnancy. The baby was only 22 weeks, 1 day old when she was delivered yesterday. She was stillborn and the surro is still not doing great, but hopefully will start to heal now.

Things like this happen frequently on the board – with so many pregnancies, we are bound to see the good and the bad and the extraordinary (one day I’ll post about the miracle that are Deb’s quads…). But this one really shook me. In May I was privileged to spend 3 days in Atlanta with a group of surros from the board. E (the one who is sick) was one of them. When she arrived she was nervous because she had just found out that she needed blood work before a test that week. She wasn’t sure how to go about it while on vacation. Her biggest concern was getting everything done for the baby. It all got figured out and her test came back fine. So I guess the fact that I know this person IRL makes it more real for me.

Also since we are so close to getting G pregnant, I had to stop and think. This could happen to us; this or a thousand other bad things. I won’t harp on them, I will think of the good things, but every now and then I’ll think “what if?” Like everyone else I’m expecting an easy, uneventful pregnancy.

But what if…?

Hurry up and wait

Friday I sent the prescriptions to the pharmacy for all the cycle meds. I wanted to make sure we had everything in time (we have plenty of time). So I called, gave them the info and put the originals in the mail. Now we wait. We wait for the mail to be delivered. We wait for the pharmacy to call me for the billing info. We wait for the pharmacy to call Ginger w/the shipping info. Then we wait for the stuff to actually be shipped and delivered. THEN we probably have to wait a few more days for Ginger to actually take the meds.

Thursday I received the final draft of the contract. We were hurrying to make sure it was done before Ginger had to start meds (today). So we hurried and got all the changes made and we both verbally agreed to it, but now we have to wait until Ginger is here next week to sign. Do you see the pattern?

Quick update

  • The contracts are just waiting for the attorney to send me the revisions.
  • We received an instruction sheet from the clinic yesterday. The date for monitoring is the day after our current appointment, so I’m waiting to hear if we should change the appointment.
  • The dates on the instruction sheet are about a week earlier than we had estimated. That’s exciting except I have a full day appointment to get my braces off right in the middle of that week. Of course there will be a conflict…
  • The scripts for all meds are waiting for me to pick them up (shooting for Wednesday) at the clinic. Then I can start ordering everything.
  • We have received the bill for the first 6 weeks of insurance coverage (beginning 8/15), but we have not received the policy book. I can’t, in good conscience, pay the premium until we have it in black and white that maternity benefits begin on day 1 and there is no surrogacy exclusion. I will start worrying early next week.